Kendrick at the Super Bowl, Olipop in the comment sections… real haters are soooo back.
this tea comes with a side of prebiotics (allegedly)
Sit back, relax, and crack open a cold one… because this week, we're tackling the internet’s beverage beef. The defendant: “healthier” soda brand Poppi, who has long been a cult favorite and internet sweetheart thanks in large part to their whimsical branding and aggressive influencer campaigns. From bright pink sweatsuits and fluffy robes, to delivering safes with mystery flavors… they’re no stranger to a PR stunt (no stranger to controversy either). In fact, until recently, most would say it was part of their charm! But their reputation took a turn for the worse when influencers received Poppi-branded vending machines ahead of the Super Bowl. Frankly, in our opinion, it’s been downhill since the Alix Earle Poppi house at Coachella. But regardless, sipping our silly little comfort bev is starting to taste a lottt like we’re not invited to sit with the popular kids at lunch.
If the TikTok drama wasn’t enough, Poppi doubled down and debuted their own multi-million dollar commercial with Jake Shane, Alix Earle, and Noah Beck to really draw in a new customer base (because nothing’s going to convince your boomer parents to buy a healthy soda like a TikTok hottie dressed as an alien!). Possibly inspired by Kendrick Lamar taking his feud all the way to the Super Bowl halftime stage, Olipop was living rent-free in the comment sections of everyyy think piece video. Somewhere along the way, they began repeating the rumor that each machine came with a hefty $25k price tag. We can’t pin down where this information came from or its accuracy, but in an apology (?) video posted to TikTok, Poppi’s CEO called out the competitor for spreading false information.
When Olipop is on stage thanking their teams while accepting a Grammy or Poppi is the official sponsor of the Super Bowl halftime show, we'll know who truly won. But the real question remains… now that Diet Coke has endorsed Trump, Poppi took a seat with the mean girls and Olipop just kinda tastes bad (sorry!) what are we supposed to drink? Water? Who knows how long we'll even have that option. Now accepting your nominations for a replacement bev.
Drama and potentially hefty price tag aside… is there a chance this is a slight overreaction? Are we potentially, oh I don’t know, using this as an outlet for growing frustration over systems that value those at the top, over the working-class people to whom they owe their success? Are we perhaps channeling a little bit of righteous anger at the powers that be into a lower-stakes scandal where we feel we could actually have an impact? Not holding that against anyone, for the record.
Frankly, companies blowing huge marketing dollars on campaigns isn’t new. Lavish influencer gifts aren’t new. This outrage isn’t even new! (Tarte trip anyone?!) If this is a criminal offense, there are a lot of companies we should cancel first. Perhaps it’s unlucky timing and simply the final straw for some. Maybe it’s that Poppi was seemingly of the people–a woman-owned rags to riches story with a Shark Tank run to boot. We were rooting for them to be different. Whatever the case may be…could we maybe cancel a few male-founded brands instead? (We nominate Prime Hydration, owned by the Logan Paul–who we like about as much as we enjoy this sickeningly sweet juice!)
So give us your take. Is the Poppi panic justified? Or is it another example of misdirected cancel culture energy. Personally, we can think of several other Superbowl advertisers we’d rather see go down. Speaking of which….
In Other News:
In a world of fat-phobic, antisemitic, and repetitive ads, this Nike Commercial was a breath of fresh air. May or may not be watching it first thing in the morning in lieu of affirmations.
Stop searching “best shows on Netflix rn”… we found your next watch. This true story about an influencer faking cancer and scamming her audience is a wake-up call about the wellness world we all need to see.
If you had sh*t to say about Cowboy Carter winning AOTY then get OUT of the Ticketmaster QUEUE!
The coveted Sunday 8 p.m. time slot on Max is finally back and our group chats couldn't be more excited for the endless conversation topics it's sure to provide for the next 8 weeks.
We’re disassociating from the news with smutty romance novels (this is not professional or legal advice).
A (tattoo free!?) Pete Davidson has been crowned “Official Boyfriend” in Reformation’s Valentine’s Day Campaign. Huge for chronically online girls who need a therapist. In the campaign video, Davidson advises “Make her a hot water bottle for when her tummy hurts. Put the seat down. Don’t tell her to relax, or try to fix her. Say you’re sorry. Actually, most of the time, don’t say anything at all.” Say that Pete!
An American woman is not only refusing to leave Pakistan, she also has a list of outrageous demands (including $2k or more a week) she wants the country to meet. We're just as confused as you are, but hey, at least she knows her worth??
Things We Hate Right Now:
everything!
you know what we’re talking about we don’t really need to get into it!
our mental health hates to see a news alert coming!
On Repeat
Brain Break!
For the girlies that still have TikTok on their phones:
For the girlies that don’t (RIP)
Quick Hits
Stop asking me about…if I have any fun plans this weekend...it's winter...no.
Something living rent-free in our head… Doechii's Grammys performance
Happy Galentine’s Day,
the everygirlz
P.S. Want to ask us a question? Submit one here!
I've only tried Poppi once, so I really have no skin in this game, however I will say... those pink sweatsuits they have at Target are made of some sort of *magic* material. I've never felt anything so soft! How do they do it?!