Learning success isn't linear, having hard conversations, and remembering to touch grass

Per My Last Email: Anonymous questions about work, life, and everything in between

Do you need to get it off your “desk”? Enter: Per My Last Email, an anonymous series where we’re getting the real deal on how women feel about their careers—the frustrating struggles, the joyful moments, and everything in-between. Whether you’re looking for real advice or just validation that we’re possibly all going through it right now, find their responses below.

How old are you?

39

What is your job?

I’ve been a social media manager in the hair industry for about 10 years. Unfortunately, I just got laid off, so now I work for a salon & spa SaaS company in sales.

Where do you live?

Virginia Beach

What is your yearly income?

65K + commission (which now it’s rare to sell add-ons because of the economy)

What is your relationship status?

Married

Do you have any children?

A dog :)

Did you attend college?

Yes, I earned an undergraduate and graduate degree.

If yes, are you currently using the degree you went to school for?

A little—my concentration was in marketing and professional writing, which was basically the equivalent of social media in the mid-2000s. Now that I’m in sales, it doesn’t really feel like I’m using my degrees. Honestly, it sometimes just feels like I’m convincing people to spend more, which can feel a little icky.

What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I don’t think I knew what it was called then or if it even had a name but I always wanted to be involved in beauty and/or fashion; in some sense I think I’ve always known I wanted to be in the hair industry in social media/marketing.

What do you think your younger self would think of you today?

She would think I’ve had some pretty cool jobs in the hair industry, but feel shocked and sad realizing that success is not linear.

Do you love your work?

Not at all. I’m hoping to find a position soon that better aligns with my past experience.

Do you think you should love your work?

For the most part. You should be able to love it a decent amount to be able to stay engaged, but also recognize when challenges are challenges and not major deal-breakers.

What is your work-life balance like?

Right now, it’s much better than it used to be, but I think that’s partly because I’m not as engaged as I used to be in previous positions.

What is one thing you had to learn the hard way?

Be friendly and form relationships, but everyone at work is not always the friend they present themselves to be.

What is something you wish you'd known early in your career?

Speak up! Hard conversations aren’t always easy, but they’re always worth it—whether you’re advocating for yourself or, as a manager, for your team. Ask questions to gain clarity, and remember: when you start a new job, it’s OK to be “new.”

What is one piece of advice every woman needs to hear?

Women are powerful and deserve to be heard.

What's one thing you're struggling with? (at work or otherwise)

I’m enjoying the work and grateful for the connection that helped me land this job right after being laid off. That said, I feel like I was misled about the role—I didn’t fully realize it was commission-based sales, and the base salary alone is about $20K less than my last position. Of course, I could make up the difference with sales, but for now, the pay cut stings. Thankfully, my wife has a great salary and tenure at her company, so she’s been keeping us afloat, but I hate that the burden is on her.

What's one thing bringing you joy? (at work or otherwise)

My dog and living so close to the beach to clear my mind.

Is there anything else you want to get off your chest/desk?

The world feels like it’s falling apart right now (at least in the U.S.), and unless you’re performing life-saving surgery, every workplace should allow people to step outside, touch grass, and take a breath. Yes, we’re working toward a goal—but we’re humans, not robots.

Have something you want to get off your desk? Answer this anonymous questionnaire to be included in a future edition of Per My Last Email: