Per My Last Email
Anonymous questions about work, life, and everything in between
Do you need to get it off your “desk”? Enter: Per My Last Email, an anonymous series where we’re getting the real deal on how women feel about their careers—the frustrating struggles, the joyful moments, and everything in-between. Whether you’re looking for real advice or just validation that we’re possibly all going through it right now, find their responses below.
How old are you?
38
What is your job?
Director of Advertising and Marketing
What is your yearly income?
$135,000 + commissions and bonus
What is your relationship status?
Married
Do you have any children?
Yes. I have an 8-year-old son.
Did you attend college?
For a full 4 years and didn't graduate. I spent too much time trying to "find myself" and not enough accruing credits that equalled a degree.
What did you want to be when you were a kid?
An elementary school teacher, forensic scientist, or interior designer.
What do you think your younger self would think of you today?
She'd be amazed and impressed at the confidence I've gained as I've gotten older. Being a quiet, studious, chubby kid didn't really lead me to the most confidence but, in my 30s, I've really learned to love who I am. Learning about body neutrality also really helped me.
Do you love your work?
No but, I like it. I enjoy what I do (most of the time) and I work with great people.
Do you think you should love your work?
No. I think too often we try to find love and fulfillment through our work when it's just not going to be that for most people. Work can't love you back and, for many of us that work for companies large or small that we don't own, we're line items. I think you should like your work enough that you enjoy it and it gives you the ability to do the things you actually love.
What is your work-life balance like?
Depends on the time of year. In my job, we have some very busy times and some normal times. During those stretches work is a lot heavier on the scale than life. I've learned to set some firm, non-negotiable boundaries - more with myself - about disconnecting from work.
What is something you wish you'd known early in your career?
You can afford to put the minimum into your 401K to get any offered match. If you don't, your basically giving money back to your company and you already work enough for them.
What is one piece of advice every woman needs to hear?
Have a "f*ck you" fund. Even if you put $5 a paycheck in it. Always have something of your own.
What's one thing you're struggling with? (at work or otherwise)
I mentioned that learning about body neutrality has really helped me and that is true. However, the rise in GLP-1 and weight loss medicine has really tested my ability to remain neutral about my body. I've always been considered overweight and having grown up in the height of diet culture, this era is really making me struggle with my relationship with my body.
What's one thing bringing you joy? (at work or otherwise)
Fostering dogs! Dogs in general bring me so much joy and we have our own that are part of our family. We started fostering last year and I love it so much. It's like dog sitting and then you get to send them off to a happily ever after. I hear people say "I don't know how you let them go" but, I never think of them as mine. They're just here temporarily and I get to love them and play with them and help them learn things that will make them great companions for their forever families.
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