Per My Last Email

Anonymous questions about work, life, and everything in between

Do you need to get it off your “desk”? Enter: Per My Last Email, an anonymous series where we’re getting the real deal on how women feel about their careers—the frustrating struggles, the joyful moments, and everything in-between. Whether you’re looking for real advice or just validation that we’re possibly all going through it right now, find their responses below.

How old are you?

30

What is your job?

Production/scheduling coordinator at a roofing company

What is your yearly income?

$60,000

What is your relationship status?

Married, 4.5 years

Do you have any children?

1 child, a girl going on 2

Did you attend college?

Yes, Indiana University!

If yes, are you currently using the degree you went to school for?

Heeeckkk no

What did you want to be when you were a kid?

An author

What do you think your younger self would think of you today?

I think she’d kind of be disappointed that I didn’t leave home and move to some big city and get the dream job. But as an adult, I’m happy with the choices I made to stay home and work your typical 9-5 instead of long days at the office away from home.

Do you love your work?

I like what I do, but I don’t love my job or find fulfillment. I like my colleagues and I bring home a steady paycheck. Whatever gets me home quicker to my baby.

Do you think you should love your work?

Not necessarily. Some people need that to find joy in their jobs. As long as I’m relatively happy, then I don’t need to be in love with what I do. A job is a job, not my entire life.

What is your work-life balance like?

Great! I work 8-4 Monday-Friday. I don’t take after hours calls anymore, and I’m able to set boundaries by leaving work AT work.

What is one thing you had to learn the hard way?

Praise and appreciation only goes so far. I’m a huge asset to the small company I work for; I receive 10s on my reviews and compliments from our clients. I’m everyone’s go-to and one of the most senior employees. But my pay is not reflected in any of this, and I learned the hard way after not getting my (huge) yearly bonus that this is just a job and that’s all I’m here to do. No more going above and beyond if there aren’t REAL incentives outside of praise and gratitude.

What is something you wish you'd known early in your career?

I just wish I knew what I wanted to do. I still don’t! A lot of things interest me now that I wouldn’t have any idea about when I was 18 going to college. I wish I knew how a 401k worked before I had to have an employer explain it to me. I wish I would have known that just because you have PTO doesn’t mean management will be happy you took it. I wish I’d known early on how to have negotiation conversations. And working in a male-dominated industry, I wish I had known how to network and make connections with women specifically in the industry.

What is one piece of advice every woman needs to hear?

Set boundaries—It’s okay to say no. And stand firm in that. Have confidence in your boundary setting. It’s okay to say no without feeling guilty. Your time, energy, family are all precious. Protect that space! It’s vital for not only your well-being, but those you surround yourself with.

What's one thing you're struggling with? (at work or otherwise)

Growing our family. Which plays into what I’m struggling with at home AND at work. We want a 2nd child in the next year. With our current incomes, we cannot afford 2 children in daycare, and yet we also cannot afford for me to stay home with our babies and live off 1 income. Double-edged sword. We want the things we have out of our current lifestyle, but I’d give anything to try being a stay-at-home mom.

What's one thing bringing you joy? (at work or otherwise)

My daughter. She is 20 months. She is my light at the end of the tunnel. Everything I do, I do it with her in mind. Her birth took all my anxieties away and I feel alive for the first time since my teens thanks to her. :)

Is there anything else you want to get off your chest/desk?

Gosh I can think of anything/everything.

I miss my long distance best friends who have only met my daughter once. I wish I had friends in town who I can have effortless, meaningful quality time with. I wish the friends I do have in town reciprocated in our friendships the way I do. Lack of reciprocation is the reason why I let so many of my “local” friendships fail. If I’m a new mom and I can find the time to text you hello or see how you’re doing, then I think you have the time to check in on me after your shift at the bar. Sorry, not sorry.

One last thing—I feel so stuck at my job. I feel like I’ve been here long enough that my employer believes I’ll never leave. The longer I’ve remained working here, I’ve taken a demotion (by choice), and they have taken nearly every benefit away. Less PTO, less sick time, less maternity leave (it used to be 12 weeks and now it’s 6 weeks unpaid), no paid disability anymore… the list goes on. I’m only still here because I don’t hate what I do and I feel secure and “well taken care of” … Well, to an extent I guess. I think I’ve just grown comfortable here and I’m scared for something new.

Have something you want to get off your desk? Answer this anonymous questionnaire to be included in a future edition of Per My Last Email: