Thinfluencers and Crumbl collabs are the new recession core
It’s giving “let them eat cake”
This just in! The same gals that sold you BBLs and then Ozempic are BACK and this time they’re selling something you can actually afford. That’s right, long gone are the days of busting it in the gym to build Kardashian inspired glutes (and then lose them!). Happiness has arrived for the small price of a $5 Crumbl cookie. If you’re lucky, you might get a special box too!
If you’re thinking “It’s not that deep! Let me enjoy things!”, by all means, please indulge. After all that snickerdoodle cookie does look kinda bomb (the gluten-free, refined sugar-free flourless chocolate cake…not so much) and it would be hypocritical of us to stomp on sweet treat culture. But overanalyzing things is kindaaaa what we do here so let’s connect the dots.
ICYMI, Tumblr-era diet culture is back in a big way on TikTok. From “skinny-tok” influencers encouraging you to fuel your “glow-up” with diabolical insults, to Remi Bader platforming herself by advocating for inclusive sizing then using those advertising dollars on weight loss surgery. Bodily autonomy is valid, but we live in an age where your personal experience is also an ad and the implications of your actions have the power to directly impact millions of women whether you like it or not.
It is not news that a woman focused on shrinking herself is a woman focused on hardly anything else. Yet in unprecedented and deeply devastating times, how much MORE compelling is it to believe that the way you experience the world is in your control (if only you conform to a beauty standard). We cannot fault anyone for falling into the trap of believing being smaller will make them safer. But it is a trap.
We are hurtling headlong into a recession, and simultaneously being bombarded with extravagant “little treats” as a consolation (then told not to eat them!). Sure, prominent retailers who shall not be named are rolling back DEI, but the Kate Spade collab is making a little bit of luxury attainable! Maybe funding was rolled back from any project that contains the word “women,” but here, you can have TikTok back… you see the pattern? Somehow despite the 50 grams of sugar, this Kardashian collab is leaving a bad taste in our mouth.
In Other News:
Dire circumstances call for Dire wolves…? Guess so, because scientists have brought back the once-extinct Dire Wolf (well not really, but kind of!). We all saw how Game of Thrones ended. Do we really need this?
The White Lotus finale dropped.
Morgan Wallen was on SNL and his republican rage walk-off has spawned a backlash of memes that are unfortunately making us giggle much more than that episode of SNL did. Get me to god’s country!! New “this is going to ruin the tour” unlocked.
Ed Sheeran is on Call Her Daddy. Don’t even have a fun quip here, we’re just a little bit confused. Can’t explain it but it feels like a recession indicator.
Bonus Section! Our Recession Indicators
(please drop yours in the comments)
Flashmobs
Getting Instagram ads encouraging me to donate my eggs
Ed Sheeran playing Coachella
Also Katy Perry going to space
Getting the urge to binge Twilight
The Rizzler on Late Night TV (can we bring back Ellen now?!)
Calvin Harris renaissance
Hot dog resurgence!!
Rebecca Black comeback & American Idol being the #1 show on Hulu
Hunger Games discourse
Things We Hate Right Now:
People saying it’s crazy Belinda only had 12k in her account in the White Lotus finale…. let’s come back down to earth.
(Dispatch from Cali/Texas girlz:) Weather getting warmer but still not high enough of a UV to tan so now we’re just pasty and sweating.
(Dispatch from the Midwest girlz:) Weather not getting warmer. Also no sun. We dream of breaking a sweat.
Pretty Little Thing rebranded to business casual attire? The teens of today will never experience ordering a last-minute sequined hoochie dress for hoco the week of!
Unprecedented times but also history repeating itself!
On Repeat
Brain Break!
good nostalgia
Things We Wish We Could Post But Our Boss Won’t Let Us
Quick Hits
Stop asking me about… what I'm buying from the Sephora sale....you think I have insider perks? I barely get 10% off, my card is staying in my pocket
Cheers,
the everygirlz
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